Tapping in

Been struggling lately with who I want to be with, and who i dont want to be with... I desperatly need community but know that what exists is not working, at least for me. I sometimes feel like a freek, because I cannot fit into that mold that so many people fit into. My needs are the same, but the methods are extremely different. I have 3-4 close friends in whom I tell most things, some things in which I tell no one. I again, get told that this is dangerous. I dont disagree, I just dont know what I am willing to sacrifice. I know that Christ desires to indwell community, and when it happends, it is sweet, sweet cool. When I was younger, I was part of a tight knit prayer / bible study group. That was the closest thing I had to community. My community is not connected, my community is not always my leaning post, Christ is. I guess what i need is room to move... Not to feel boxed in, to feel like my own person, within a group that is defigned by, who it is through Christ, and the fruit of that. Just some thoughts... Please feel no offence, I have discussed this with many, no excuses, just reality...