Love / Hate

I have developed a love hate relationship for someone quite close to me. It ticks me off, because this relationship is a needed thing in my life, I know this, but I HATE IT sometimes. Because of my lack of maturity and so forth, I continually find that i have hurt this person, without wanting to or intending to... It is like I have forgotten how to think from someone else’s perspective... I know that God has thrown this person at me for a reason... I continually fight his correction (even when he is right), I always argue with him (even when he is right), and I know that his wisdom is far beyond anything found down here... and NOTHING I have done has gotten rid of him.

He gave me a choice this morning (@ 6:30 in the am hours...rabbit trail, the sun does not rise until like 6 am. 5:30 am-not a good time of the day to pick out clean / dirty, matching clothing...Now I understand why all those people that get up early are all like wearing purple with green and blue with brown... blue and brown are not so bad... those poor people, they're not colour blind, they're just getting up way too early in the morning... My boss is like that, so colour blind, what a shame...so much talent and responsibility...mmm), he said that i have until tonight wether or not I want him in or out. Just basically because I haven’t let him in for awhile, a He does not like the surface Jo Pott... I'm surprised he even noticed I had retreated... So I guess I should do some thinking, and come to the realization that having people that provoke you to God is not such a bad thing.

--> Next <-- Short attention span SLEEPY

Read on...prayer

Was at C+C the other day, and i think it was good that I prayed in a group of Christians again. Cant say for the right reasons... (fellowship...etc.) But more so because I had not done it for so long that it was literally invading of my personal space. Not only do I not dare to lie about my life, in prayer, but it is tough to pray for others when you do not feel like you are cutting it. Especially when He asks you to pray for another in the group that seems to have it so much more together. Poopy, but a good lesson for Jo pott. I use to wonder why teens found it hard to pray in a group, but there must be something invading, and strange to them about caring and sharing, something becoming more and more extinct as the world rolls on. Good to experience, but not to be forced, or maybe I am wrong...

School...

Am finding that I am thinking in the clouds once again, because I am in what about... what if mode. I swear I should write papers when I am in this mood... Will be starting school on Monday the 15th. I might actually miss a few people here in the office. Might keep in contact... later people...