weekends...

This weekend was nuts. I have always looked forward to weekends because it allows me to get away and retreat into my own world, so i am ready to take over the outer world Monday morning. Not this weekend... I need to rethink how much I do for others. Some days I cant think of one thing I did alone or for myself, except to take a shower (and I am sure the people I am with are thankful for that...so really maybe I do that for others as well).

Internally, can you be selfish when externally you are doing for others all the time? A close friend told me I had not shared my heart with them for over 3 months, and was missing me quite a bit. Maybe that is because I have not had time to sort through all the things that are there... Maybe I am becoming afraid to come out and play again, not sure...

As a follower and lover of Christ, I think it should be part of my life to be lazy... Not lazy but that "at peace" thing. No I just would like to be lazy for awhile. Maybe my vacation should be spent sleeping, eating, and... what else does being lazy consist of? Whatever I need, I know it is much deeper than being lazy. Less coffee, more being alone, with God. MMM God, miss time with Him.